It’s called HIBERNATION

Liz and I took an extended nap on our blog. We hibernate. Don't discriminate against us for being bear-esque.

Now, onto the real story of this post: baseball, in any way, shape or form. So, in about 4 hours, we will have about 1 month left in the season. Shall we all go back and look at our predictions? What's that? You threw yours out? Well, I wrote an English dialogue in April about baseball (and, as Suzyn Waldman would say, how you can't predict it). Suzyn is totally right. My April predictions look about as good as those ugly show dogs. Shall we review?

American League East:
Prediction: Yankees win, Rays second and Wild Card
Currently: Yankees lead, Rays second and wild card

Notes: Shockingly accurate. If both of tonight's scores hold, the Yankees will have a 1 game lead on the Rays entering September. With any luck, we can take at least 4 games from them out of the remaining six (3 in the Bronx, 3 in the Trop). And, not to toot my own horn, but props to me for the lack of the Red Sox. I think its safe to say that with their loss on Sunday to Tampa that they are officially done.

AL Central

Prediction: Twins win in a landslide, Tigers hold their own for a while and then crash.
Currently: Twins lead by 4 games over Chi-Town.

Notes: So, it's not going to be a landslide as I projected. But the Twinkies should hold on to this. Man-Ram-Cheat will help and make the race interesting, but he's not contest for the M and M Brothers (Mauer and Morneau) in Minnesota. Also, Detroit collapsed (sounds familiar, doesn't it?)

AL West:

Prediction: Mariners win. Angels a close second. "Forget about the Rangers"
Currently: Rangers running away and hiding. Nobody else even has a shot.

Notes: Well John, you just can't predict baseball.

NL East

Prediction: Phils win, Bravos second and Wild Card. Mets have a down year.
Currently: Bravos on top by a lot. Phils fighting for the Card.

Notes: Got the Metros right, didn't I? But both the Phils and the Braves are primed for a long Playoff run (that is, if they both get in)

NL Central

Prediction: Cardinals run away and hide early. No contest.
Currently: Reds are wrecking everybody.

Notes: Really? This was my most confident pick. Where did Cincy come from? Joey Votto is a champion. I would not want to touch him in a dark alley, or a light alley, or a light street. I'm a bit afraid of him. And he could win the Triple Crown.

NL West

Prediction: Giants win behind the Freak.
Currently: Padres winning behind stellar pitching. Giants in the WC hunt.

Notes: Can anybody predict this division? It changes every day who's going to win. I gotta say, SD is not going to fair well in the post season. They lack offense.

So. Predicting baseball. You just can't do it.

General notes:

Really sorry for the extended break. Hope you all are doing well.

The Yankees have actually not played well lately. But that's ok. We're still winning.

Marcus Thames? WTF?

Robbie Cano might actually win the MVP if the Tigers and Miggy Cabrera keep tanking.

Sabathia deserves the Cy Young. Burnett deserves the Worst Pitcher ever award.

It's time to get rid of Cervelli. Montero is ready. Let's get real Joey Braces and CMoney.

Screw Roger Clemens. (The video keeps the Suzyn Waldman theme going)

Some cool stuff:

Follow these tweeps (if you're on twitter): @EatSleepYankees, @JustFollowYanks and @AnaMariana42.

Until next time, my friends.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUGGYBEAR!

I've been trying to have some fun with this blog doing contests and all... what do I get? Nada. We've had two participants in our current Yankee trivia contest happening live on Twitter. The World Cup reference contest? No participants...

Happy birthday to Phil "Huggybear" Hughes. A young man, Hughes has lead this team throughout this season. Disregard the cliche, he's finally stepped up to the plate this season. He's a serious contender to win the Cy Young if he keeps up this pace.

I completely hate these Hughes Rules. They're sooooooooooo dumb. They didn't work with Joba "The Pizza Hut" Chamberlain and Huggybear is way better than him. We need him now. We're in the midst of a tight pennant race. He's our best pitcher. It's a bad logistical decision to take him out for a series of games. Come on Joey Braces. What are you thinkin'? We need wins. Wins are important.

Topic 2: Beating the Diamondbacks

We should take 3 out of 3 from a team as dismal as the Diamondbacks. I mean, come on, what is a Diamondback. But you know why we didn't break out the brooms? A-FREAKING-J-FREAKING BURNETT. I'm still furious about this. He's sooooo bad. Some say we should trade him. Go ahead, type "Burnett for" into Google. Look at the suggestions. He's worth, according to Google, carmel. Carmel. That's what we have pitching for us. Carmel is pitching for us. Thats right friends.

But seriously, we couldn't get jack for AJ. If we're lucky, the Metros would take him off our hands.

So. If you can get three things out of this post, here they are:

1. Have fun with us. Off day twitter trivia contests and blog post contests. Win magical prizes.

2. The Huggybear rules are dumb.

3. I hate AJ. He's dumb and worth carmel.

An open letter to AJ Burnett

Dear AJ Burnett,

Stop sucking so much. You are far and away the worst pitcher on the staff. Even Javier Vazquez is better than you. Well, heres the deal. Either suck all the time, or pitch well all the time. No more necessary prayers for you to pitch well. Just do it. We shouldn't have to ask you. You get paid way more than my 8.50 an hour. You make 565 times what I make in an hour PER PITCH. Pitch like you do.

You're berserk. Watching you pitch in 3 different games is like watching Clint Eastwood's The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Your last three starts (not counting tonights dreadful game against my sister's love affair: The Phillies): 1-2, 13 runs allowed (11 earned), an ERA of nearly 5, with 4 hit batters! These are in "Low Pressure" games (.89 aLI, below the league average of 1). These are Joba "The Warrior" Chamberlain numbers. Not 16 million dollars per year numbers.

AJ. Step it up. We want more rings. We can't do it without you. Well, thats a lie. We can. But things would be alot easier for us if you would just pitch well.

Love,

Yankee Fans all over the world

PS. Tonight was ugly, and it sparked me to write this letter.