Dear Nick Swisher

Dear Mister Swisher,

Thank you. I think you are the only true, blue baseball player. You clearly play for the love of the game and have so much fun doing so. For that I thank you. You treat the "Bleacher Creatures" like they're your step-brother and have a great connection with the fans.

This season, you've been on a tear. All your stats are up this year from the averages. Your BA is up almost .50 points, slugging the same. Even your OBP is up about .3 You're more valuable than an average player is (WAR at 1.8, higher than the average 1.0). You should be an all star. You're better than a lot of players out there.

Why else do I like you? You have fun and aren't afraid to show it. I think thats why you didn't prosper in Chi-town. Ozzy held you down. Now, you're with Joey Braces and the Funtime Gang. I have a picture from the World Series celebration hanging up, and you are having so much fun. Your mouth is wide open and you're flying into the pile. It was a brilliant photo, but it describes you so well.

Mr. Swisher, if you ever read this letter, know one thing. I graduate high school next year. I want you at my graduation party. You seem like one of the best people to have a non-alcoholic beverage with. I just want to pick your brain and learn all about you (in the least creepy sense of that statement). So if you are reading this, send me a sign. Hold one up at the game on July 21. We'll be there. Or reply to this post. Or send me something on Twitter. Or something like that.

Your Friend,

Mike

PS TWITTER ME @BACK2BACKNYY

An open letter to AJ Burnett

Dear AJ Burnett,

Stop sucking so much. You are far and away the worst pitcher on the staff. Even Javier Vazquez is better than you. Well, heres the deal. Either suck all the time, or pitch well all the time. No more necessary prayers for you to pitch well. Just do it. We shouldn't have to ask you. You get paid way more than my 8.50 an hour. You make 565 times what I make in an hour PER PITCH. Pitch like you do.

You're berserk. Watching you pitch in 3 different games is like watching Clint Eastwood's The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Your last three starts (not counting tonights dreadful game against my sister's love affair: The Phillies): 1-2, 13 runs allowed (11 earned), an ERA of nearly 5, with 4 hit batters! These are in "Low Pressure" games (.89 aLI, below the league average of 1). These are Joba "The Warrior" Chamberlain numbers. Not 16 million dollars per year numbers.

AJ. Step it up. We want more rings. We can't do it without you. Well, thats a lie. We can. But things would be alot easier for us if you would just pitch well.

Love,

Yankee Fans all over the world

PS. Tonight was ugly, and it sparked me to write this letter.