Stop sucking so much. You are far and away the worst pitcher on the staff. Even Javier Vazquez is better than you. Well, heres the deal. Either suck all the time, or pitch well all the time. No more necessary prayers for you to pitch well. Just do it. We shouldn't have to ask you. You get paid way more than my 8.50 an hour. You make 565 times what I make in an hour PER PITCH. Pitch like you do.
You're berserk. Watching you pitch in 3 different games is like watching Clint Eastwood's The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Your last three starts (not counting tonights dreadful game against my sister's love affair: The Phillies): 1-2, 13 runs allowed (11 earned), an ERA of nearly 5, with 4 hit batters! These are in "Low Pressure" games (.89 aLI, below the league average of 1). These are Joba "The Warrior" Chamberlain numbers. Not 16 million dollars per year numbers.
AJ. Step it up. We want more rings. We can't do it without you. Well, thats a lie. We can. But things would be alot easier for us if you would just pitch well.
Love,
Yankee Fans all over the world
PS. Tonight was ugly, and it sparked me to write this letter.
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